Relationship Weather

What I am still learning:
That relationships, like the weather, have sunny days and cloudy days.

Sunny days are when everything is great, and you cant get enough of each other. Looking forward to each moment together and the smiles are endless. The warmth and joy is strongly felt.

Cloudy days are when things feel rough, and you cant wait to get away from one another (or stay away for that matter). Communication is tough, there are misunderstandings, and it's as if the sun won't shine again on us EVER. It's cold, distant, and tension and despair rule the air.  Sometimes, the cloudy days are stormy days and we cant find any comfort in the idea of being together. Exiting feels like the right thing.

What we focus on usually is the thing that we attract. I have a tendency of seeing only the bad when the "S" hits the fan. Because I have experienced it so many times, and feel like I know where the story ends. And my escapist brain seeks to abandon the situation that is causing the heart pain. Because if it doesnt feel good, why bother?

We must not forget, however, that is through those rains that the ground becomes fertile enough to sustain growth.  It is through the hardships that we find the meaning behind the union and the strength behind the self.  Only things that pass through Quality Control are tested for safety and endurance. That's how we determine whether something will bend and break or bend and sustain itself.

Maybe I am being silly. Maybe I should know better by now. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding and I should move on. Heck, I NEED to move on - whatever that means. Past relationships have made it almost impossible for me to endure heartache at all. It just brings back so many memories of times past when I allowed so many people to use, hurt and abuse me.  So, at the first sign of stress, I want to run fast and far to wherever the wind will take me.  Not a very mature way of dealing with things you say? I agree. But the shadows of the past are sometimes the most challenging to overcome because it's not so much a fear of the unknown, but a fear of the done and tried and the experience that hinged itself onto you.

My job now is to detach, accept, continue to love (myself and others), and feel myself grow through yet another phase in this day in this girl's life.

Bless.